How to deal with feelings of unfairness in divorce




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One of the most common issues people struggle with when a marriage ends is the feeling of unfairness. This is particularly the case if one spouse moves on faster than the other, or one spouse feels that his or her life has been unfairly altered financially or emotionally. Feelings of injustice can be a large obstacle to moving on after a divorce for many people across Alberta.

However justified these feelings may be, managing and handling them is key to moving forward after a marriage ends. Divorce counsellors advise that once the papers are signed, “letting go” of the notion of fairness will help those crushed by feelings of injustice to heal. There is an exercise that can help with this.

First, one must recognize the specific things they consider to be unfair. They must also identify that which is in their control and that which is not. For example, an ex-spouse may have legal recourse in Alberta for handling financial issues while other emotional issues may only be resolved from personal work. Coming up with actionable ways to handle all the struggles and “unfairness” from the divorce is a great way to begin healing.

While some things may be out of one’s control in a divorce, such as how quickly a spouse moves on to another partner, other things can and should be resolved in a fair and just way. In Alberta, family law is designed to minimize the injustice a divorce can present and come up with agreements and property divisions that make sense given the circumstances. Getting representation from a lawyer who focuses on family law may help ensure a settlement is fair and also lessen any financial and/or emotional struggle following a difficult dissolution.

Source:, “How to Kick Divorce Unfairness to the Curb”, Martha Bodyfelt, Accessed on July 21, 2017


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